


the first, and the last

by springdaughter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Angst and Tragedy, Arranged Marriage, Bokuto seems like the bad guy but he's really nice trust me, Bottom Tsukishima Kei, M/M, Smut, Top Kuroo Tetsurou, also there's only bokuaka if you squint really hard, and SMUT, just a lotta angst really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25998118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springdaughter/pseuds/springdaughter
Summary: “You get what I’m saying? No one’s coming to retrieve me until morning.”Tetsurou swallowed hard. Somewhere in his right mind, he was hurt by the implications. It was selfish, in a way, to have Kei give himself up for one night before leaving forever, allowing Tetsurou just a taste of happiness before ripping it from his grasp. He didn’t know which would be more painful: to indulge now and make the goodbye all the more excruciating, or maintain their boundaries and pretend like nothing had happened. He’d be suffering in both scenarios.“There’s no going back after this,” Tetsurou warned, voice rasping with want. “Not for me.”“Yeah, I know,” Kei said softly. “Me neither.”----Kuroo Tetsurou is a royal knight and personal attendant to the impertinent Prince Tsukishima Kei. To anyone else, Kei's standoffish nature and brazen attitude would serve as a detractor for the job. But for Tetsurou, it's the best position he's ever held, for he harbors deeply stowed feelings for the prince.At first, he was content leaving his emotions by the wayside. But when Kei is suddenly engaged to a new suitor, all their unspoken feelings come to a head during their last night together.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 7
Kudos: 196





	the first, and the last

**Author's Note:**

> the fic reads best if you are listening to one of the following songs:
> 
> exile - taylor swift feat. bon iver  
> oceans - seafret  
> let me go - haim  
> to die for - sam smith (olafur arnalds remix)

Somewhere in the far reaches of the castle, a large grandfather clock struck nine. It’s chime echoed throughout the stone halls.

Kuroo Tetsurou stood outside the royal bedchamber door, shoulders upright and hands clasped together behind his back. His gaze drifted to the nearest window, taking in the cloudless, blue sky with slight surprise. Though his day began far before dawn broke, the early morning hours always passed quickly for him. He had hardly noticed the sun as it crept over the horizon. 

Tetsurou was an esteemed knight and personal attendant to the royal family. As such, he had plenty of responsibilities to keep him busy from the moment he awoke to the moment he slept. As soon as the day began, he would splash water on his face, swiftly dress himself in uniform (a leather tunic embellished with red threading), and report to his battalion captain for the day’s schedule. After that, he was to meet the night guards and debrief with them the details of the previous evening. He would then remain stationed at his post until the hour reached nine. Only then was he relieved by one of the lower ranking knights.

Today, it was Yamaguchi who came to get him.

“Good morning, Kuroo,” Yamaguchi greeted, chipper as always. He was clad in the same uniform, with a saber strapped to his side.

Tetsurou liked Yamaguchi. He wasn’t the most talented swordsman, nor did he have the sharpest wit. What he lacked in those qualities, however, he made up for in boundless heart and unyielding tenacity.

“G’morning,” Tetsurou bid with a slight yawn, shoulders finally relaxing. His hands unclasped and he saluted his fellow knight. Yamaguchi returned the gesture and the two wordlessly traded positions.

“Anything to report?” Yamaguchi asked, assuming the rigid posture of a guard on duty. Tetsurou shook his head. The early morning hours rarely yielded any excitement, and the two both knew that fact well; it was simply protocol to ask.

“I’ll be waking his majesty, now,” Tetsurou informed Yamaguchi, again for the sake of formality. 

Ever since his appointment as a royal guard - back when he was a mere fourteen years old - Tetsurou had been charged with looking after the youngest prince. This meant keeping him safe from any kind of threat. It also meant attending to his every need, including waking him in the morning and readying him for the day.

“Very good,” Yamaguchi responded. His cheerful smile vanished, replaced by a nine-mile stare. His nose was high and chin stiff. If Tetsurou didn’t know any better, he might actually believe Yamaguchi was the unfeeling, serious image he projected.

Tetsurou pushed the wooden door open gently, careful not to make noise as he entered the royal bedchamber. The room was still shrouded in shadow, thick satin curtains obstructing the morning light. A stranger would likely stumble in the dark, but Tetsurou was no stranger. He had performed the same ritual so many times before that he did not need light to navigate the room. He made his way to the window, boots clicking against the stone floor, and pulled back the thick fabric to one side, securing the curtains with a golden chord. As he tied the knot, he heard a soft groan behind him.

“Rise and shine, your majesty,” Tetsurou said with a smile.

He turned to face the massive king bed positioned squarely in the center of the room, now awash in bright, unfiltered light. Nestled snugly underneath several layers of cotton and silk was the young prince himself. He recoiled away from the sun’s rays and buried his face underneath the covers, tufts of light blonde hair peeking out at the crown.

Tetsurou walked to the edge of the bed and sat down. He brushed his hand through the hair gently, savoring the soft feel of it against his fingertips. “No time to dawdle, your majesty. Your family is expecting you at breakfast in ten minutes.”

Tetsurou continued to pet the prince’s head for a few seconds more, before the latter finally mumbled, “....told you not to…”

“Hmm?” Tetsurou hummed. His smile became playful as he tickled the shell of the prince’s ear.

This earned a strong reaction from the sleeping beauty, who sprang upright and slapped away Tetsurou’s hand. His porcelain complexion was flushed pink, his eyes casting a sharp glare. Tetsurou just put up his hands in silent apology.

“I told you not to call me that,” the prince repeated, clearly this time.

He was dressed in a loose white nightshirt, which draped delicately over his shoulders. Tetsurou’s sharp black eyes flickered down for a moment, unconsciously drawn to the hints of exposed collar bone, before connecting again with the harsh, golden stare of the prince. If he had been at all startled, Tetsurou was careful not to show it. 

“Right, right,” he said casually, “I know... _Kei_.” 

Tetsurou would never act so familiar with the prince in front of others, especially not the king and queen. Knights were servants to the monarchy, after all. A certain amount of distance was expected - nay, _required_ \- between Tetsurou and Prince Tsukishima. 

The two had been together for nearly eight years, however. During that time, Kei’s defenses had dropped and he’d grown fond of his attendant. So fond, in fact, that he one day asked his knight to stop with the “your majesty this…” and “your majesty that…”.

Tetsurou was eager to oblige Kei’s request, despite the fact that such informalities were enough to get him exiled. He loved the idea of a shared secret between them; something that bound them closer than ties of mere duty and service. Tetsurou was his knight, yes, but he was also his companion, _his confidant_. He knew things about the prince that not even the king and queen were privy to.

Tetsurou promised to only use his first name while the two were alone, and each time it left his lips, it felt like a quiet rebellion against the rigid structure of their hierarchical society.

That being said, the rebellion went only one way. The prince still only referred to Tetsurou by his surname, which was fine. Tetsurou would never ask him to compromise his noble standing for some small sense of intimacy. Because, when it came down to it, Kei was royalty. Asking anything of him would be a violation of boundaries.

Of course, that did not stop Tetsurou from entertaining the idea. Societal norms held no authority over his mind, and he was free to imagine the prince however he liked.

Tetsurou stood and extended a hand to Kei, helping him out of bed. As the covers slipped off, his long, bare legs were revealed. The end of his nightshirt just barely reached the tops of his thighs and Tetsurou had no choice but to look away.

“You’ll get a cold sleeping like that,” he scolded, the smile gone.

Kei just furrowed his brows in confusion, seemingly unaware of the effect he had on his knight. “A cold? What are you talking about? It’s already June.” He stood and stretched, hiking the fabric up dangerously higher. “Besides, it’s too suffocating to sleep with my legs covered.”

Tetsurou kept his eyes trained to the floor, unable to look up until Kei disappeared behind the doors of his massive wardrobe.

“What’s my schedule for today?” He asked.

Tetsurou’s mind finally returned to working order. “First is breakfast with your family. I am to inform you that the dress code is formal, as there will be guests in attendance,” he said.

“Guests, huh?” Kei echoed. “This is the first time I’m hearing of it…”

The sound of fabric ruffling filled the room until he finally emerged from behind the wardrobe. Thankfully for Tetsurou, Kei’s lean legs were now covered by a pair of fitted black trousers. To match, he wore a cream, ruffled shirt, cinched in by a lavish waistcoat embellished with gold and sapphire threads. Tetsurou couldn’t help but stare as Kei fiddled with the cufflinks of his sleeve.

“Is this good?” Kei asked absentmindedly.

Tetsurou swallowed hard. “Yeah, it’s good.”

Kei didn’t notice his blatant stare. He just huffed in frustration. “I can never do this myself.” He extended both arms out, silently asking for help. The easy smile finally returned to Tetsurou’s lips, happy to be of service. He began securing the cuffs of the shirt one by one, and a comfortable silence overtook the two of them. 

Their heights were comparable, though Tetsurou always appeared the larger of the two due to his broad build and unruly hair. In reality, however, Kei had a few centimeters on him. 

Kei projected an intimidating aura to those who did not know him well, thanks in no small part to his height and harsh resting expression. Additionally, he carried himself with assurance and spoke frankly. Combined with his status, those qualities often steered off the weak of heart. Tetsurou, on the other hand, just found them all the more endearing. He loved that, buried underneath all that condescension and confidence, there were hints of vulnerability and warmth.

Tetsurou made quick work of the cufflinks, but he was hesitant to let go of Kei’s thin wrist and soft palms. He unconsciously ran the pads of his fingers over the delicate skin, admiring it’s perfect texture: the result of his privileged upbringing. His own hands, in stark contrast, were rough and covered in calluses from training.

“Kuroo,” Kei said, beckoning Tetsurou’s attention upwards.

“Yes?”

“That’s…quite enough.”

Kei’s face was much closer than Tetsurou remembered, and he could easily see the dusting of color across his cheeks. 

“R-right,” he said, quickly dropping his hold. The once comfortable silence soured. Tetsurou chided himself internally for getting carried away like that. He couldn’t help himself when it came to the prince. He liked to feel useful, to know that Kei would be a little lost without him. Waking him up in the morning, managing his schedule, cuffing his sleeves…it didn’t matter what he did, as long as he could help him, be _near_ him. That was enough for Tetsurou.

He forced a wide grin, like the whole thing had been a joke. “Don’t tell me, your majesty, did I make you nervous?”

Kei’s eyes twitched in annoyance. “Nothing makes me nervous,” he said defiantly before turning to leave. “Let’s go. I don’t want to keep the guests waiting too long.”

Tetsurou followed closely behind the prince, trying to ignore the pounding in his chest. “Yes, your majesty.”

* * *

The rest of the royal family were already seated in the dining hall, making merry conversation with the aforementioned company. Tetsurou noted that, in addition to the typical guards stationed at the doors, there were two other knights standing against the wall. One of them was Saeko, her blunt blonde bob and sparkling eyes hard to miss. Similar to Tetsurou, she was the personal attendant to Kei’s older brother, Akiteru. 

She winked at Tetsurou as he followed Kei into the dining hall, clearly late. 

“It’s about _time_ you joined us,” said the queen, her voice overly friendly and high-pitched. Tetsurou could tell she was annoyed.

“My deepest apologies, your high-” he was cut off.

“Don’t bother, Kuroo, I know this was not your doing,” she assured him. Her gaze then narrowed on her son.

Kei made no effort to excuse his delay; he didn’t even acknowledge his mother’s attention. He merely slid into his seat, on Akiteru’s right. The latter whispered something into Kei’s ear - most likely scolding him for being disrespectful. Akiteru was much more well-behaved and diligent than his younger brother. He had to be; he was next in line for the throne. 

Tetsurou swiftly took his position beside Saeko, stiffening at her grin.

“Took you long enough,” she whispered, nudging his side playfully.

Tetsurou would have made a quick retort, but he was distracted by the unfamiliar second guard standing to their left.

The man was physically uncharacteristic of a knight. His shoulders were narrow and body lean, yet his aura was steadfast. Two onyx eyes stared forward, unwavering. Matching in color was his short hair: black as night. His tunic too was black, with grey and gold threading. The garment's design was quite obviously foreign, making it clear he did not belong to the Tsukishima family. 

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow at Saeko, nodding in his direction. _Who is he?_

She answered his unspoken question by fixing her eyes forward. He followed her gaze, which had settled on the guest sitting at the breakfast table.

He was royalty by the looks of it. Even by royal standards, the garb he donned was ostentatious. He wore a long, black cape with black feathers lining the collar and shoulders. Tetsurou squinted and noticed that nestled amongst the feathers was a gilt broach molded into the shape of an owl, mid-flight. The cape’s underside was lined in gold as well, catching the light and shimmering with each subtle movement. On his fingers, the guest accessorized with flashy rings and fine jewels.

Tetsurou pursed his lips, taking in the sight. Such garish fashion was not suited to his _personal_ taste...but whatever pleased the owner, he supposed.

The guest’s hair was just as gaudy: a blend of grey and black streaks styled to defy gravity in jagged spikes. Tetsurou elbowed Saeko and waggled his brow, another unspoken remark. _Get a load of this guy._ Saeko tried not to laugh.

Finally, the guest spoke. Tetsurou noted that his manner of speaking was just as flashy as his appearance, padded by big gestures and great volume.

“I am honored to finally make your acquaintance, Young Prince Tsukishima,” he said with a flourish of his hands. Kei only nodded in acknowledgement.

“Greet him properly,” Akiteru scolded.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance...um…” 

“Prince Bokuto, of the Fukurodani Realm,” he finished.

This came as a shock to both Tetsurou and Kei, the latter of whom could not hide his surprise.

“Fukurodani?” He repeated, slack-jawed. 

“Indeed,” answered the queen. She had her hands clasped together with a bright smile, proud to boast the title of her esteemed guest. 

It was no small matter having the prince of such a powerful kingdom sitting at their table. While the Tsukishima family was renowned within the Karasuno Realm, their lineage was still fairly young. In contrast, the Bokuto lineage was well-established, with deep roots and many capable kings. Moreover, they possessed a strong military fueled by excess wealth.

“Prince Bokuto wrote to us last week with an interesting proposition and I invited him to discuss it over breakfast. He came all the way to speak with you in particular, Kei.”

“Me?” Kei asked, his interest piqued. 

“Yes, you,” his mother snapped. “Now don’t you feel rude? Making us wait.” She turned to Prince Bokuto. “I am deeply sorry, your majesty. The audacity of this one...I swear I don’t know where he gets it from.”

He didn’t look the least bit bothered, however. He waved his hand in gentle dismissal, smiling broadly. “Please, think nothing of it. I am just grateful to be graced by your hospitality.”

“What did you wish to speak with me about?” Kei asked.

At this, Prince Bokuto’s confidence faltered slightly. He stuttered, “W-well, I was thinking we should wait until after breakfast was over. Then you and I could perhaps take a walk in the garden? Just the two of us...alone.”

Kei blinked twice, trying to understand the prince’s motivations. He cautiously nodded in agreement. “That would be fine, I suppose.”

The rest of the breakfast proceeded as normal, filled with small talk and the stilted formalities which Kei loathed so deeply. He pushed his food around on his plate, never one to finish his meals. When that bored him, he found himself glancing across the table and connecting with Prince Bokuto’s lingering gaze. His yellow eyes were unreadable, if not a little hesitant, which just further piqued Kei’s curiosity. 

_What could he possibly want to discuss?_

The answer to that question, Tetsurou already knew. He had figured it out the second that flashy prince started fidgeting. The suggestion to go off on their own? The queen’s acute elation? Tetsurou’s stomach dropped. He knew _precisely_ what was going on.

As he stood motionless against the wall, a contented, professional smile plastered to his lips, Tetsurou’s hands began to tremble behind his back. Dread washed over him in waves. He had always known this day would arrive, and he’d been steadily preparing himself for it. 

But dammit...he didn't think it would come _this soon_. 

Eventually, the grandfather clock struck eleven, signaling the end of the meal. Each chime reverberated throughout Tetsurou’s body like a violent attack.

Kei stood from the table, his eyes instinctively darting towards Tetsurou. Examining his despondent expression, Kei tilted his head, confused. His knight was ever diligent. When the clock struck eleven - no, even seconds before then - Tetsurou would be at Kei’s side, pushing in his chair and escorting him out of the dining hall. But now he felt miles away, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Oi, Kuroo. Did you not hear? We are going for a walk in the garden,” he beckoned impatiently, failing to read the atmosphere.

Prince Bokuto jumped in before Tetsurou could answer. “Oh please, your highness, that’s unnecessary. We will not require accompaniment for this stroll, I assure you.” He looked back at his own personal knight - the man with raven black hair and sharp eyes - and gave him a knowing look. The knight merely nodded in quiet understanding. Prince Bokuto then turned back to Kei, and held out his hand. “Shall we?”

Kei didn’t know what to do. Walk along the castle grounds? Without his knight? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done anything without Tetsurou’s guidance. The idea of deliberately leaving him behind so he could be alone with some stranger just felt...wrong.

And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to protest. His father, mother, and brother all stared at him expectantly. Prince Bokuto was waiting with an outstretched hand. Even the guards stationed at the door were watching for his response.

The only person who wasn’t looking at him...was Tetsurou.

Finally, Kei took Prince Bokuto’s hand and allowed himself to be led outside, an unsettled feeling stirring in his gut.

* * *

It all happened so quickly. One second, Prince Bokuto was leading Kei through the maze of trees and hedges constituting their royal garden, commenting on how nicely the roses had bloomed this year, and the next, he was down on his knees, gripping Kei’s hands in his own, a serious expression weighing down his jovial features.

“I want you to marry me,” he said frankly, and loudly. 

Kei coughed. “I’m sorry, _what?_ ”

“I want you...to marry me,” Prince Bokuto said again, slower this time.

It wasn’t a question. At least, it didn’t feel like one. It was more entitled, as if it were a given that Kei would say yes. He stalled, his thoughts running a mile a minute. Strangely, the first thing that popped into his mind was Tetsurou.

“But…” Kei began slowly, trying to make sense of the situation, “I don’t love you. Rather, I barely know you.”

Prince Bokuto, who was still on his knees, just snorted in laughter. “Well, that’s a given. I don’t love you either.”

“Great. Glad we could come to an understanding.”

Kei tried to storm off, but his wrist was caught.

“My answer is no,” he repeated.

“If it’s romance you are concerned about, I assure you, I am a dedicated partner. I’ll satisfy all your needs.”

The tips of Kei’s ears burned red. “Let go of me. I have no interest in your shallow proposal.”

“Wait! Please, hear me out?” Prince Bokuto asked, becoming distressed. His sudden desperation managed to earn Kei’s begrudging attention. 

“I apologize for that comment,” he began, “You don’t love me, I get it. Frankly, I wouldn’t expect any different. But who's to say you won’t learn to love me over time? And besides, your highness, we are nobles. I implore you to consider reasons beyond love for our engagement.”

“Such as?”

“Prospects, for one.” Prince Bokuto stood back up, newly determined. Kei hadn’t paid much attention to him before, so it was only now that he noticed Prince Bokuto’s height. He was nearly as tall as Kei. Combined with his broad shoulders and flowing cape, his stature made for significant presence; a _king’s_ presence.

“I’m next in line for the throne,” he elaborated. “Our domain is far-reaching and our military is strong. If we were to absorb the Tsukishima family into the bloodline, we could offer your kingdom reliable protection. Moreover, we’re a trade powerhouse. Economic integration could expose your merchants to valuable foreign markets.”

Kei was unimpressed. “So that’s all there is? You’re proposing to me out of the goodness of your heart, to protect my family’s kingdom and line the pockets of traders?”

Prince Bokuto finally released Kei’s wrist. He put a hand at his hip and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Of course, that’s not all. Fukurodani has something to gain as well.”

Kei raised an eyebrow, waiting.

Prince Bokuto pointed to the sky, just as a seagull flew overhead. “The sea. Strong as my domain may be, we’re still landlocked and that significantly weakens the reach of our trade routes. I know if we had unbarred access to your harbor, our scope would widen and profits escalate significantly.”

“If an expansion of wealth is all you seek, then I humbly refuse.” Kei was growing impatient. “Besides, our military may not be as great as yours, but we’ve successfully protected our people for the past century. Whatever threat we face, we’ll sort it out on our own. We always have.”

“But-”

“But nothing.”

Prince Bokuto’s demeanor suddenly shifted again. He appeared frustrated, and perhaps even a bit remorseful. “I-” he sighed, “I intended to keep this from you. I was determined to win you over authentically, with my charm and promise. But I now see your heart is immovable.” He fell silent, which made Kei uneasy.

“What is it?”

“The truth is," he began, "your people are in danger. And I’m afraid the threat is too great for you to handle alone, as you say. One of our spies recently received reliable word of a plan to invade your domain from the north.”

Kei felt his blood freeze. “You don’t mean...Shiratorizawa?”

Prince Bokuto nodded solemnly. “In truth, access to your harbor is a mere triviality. Our real interests lie in undermining Shiratorizawa. Their immense power is already a threat to my kingdom, and I can’t risk having them grow by amassing your strategic location and resources."

Kei was quick to put the pieces together. "And marriage is your solution to this problem?"

Prince Bokuto nodded again. "I can’t, in good conscience, send my people to fight and die for foreign land where we stake no claim. Such an action would call my loyalties and judgement into question. But, if you and I were to marry, and your people were to become mine, then it would become my _sworn duty_ to protect them.”

Kei was struck silent. At some point during the last five minutes, his body began to tremble. If all that was true, then Kei’s family stood to lose everything. Akiteru would never succeed the throne. More than that, their people would suffer significant losses against Shiratorizawa’s robust forces. It would be an unwinnable fight. _A massacre_.

“Do my parents know?” He asked, still in shock.

“We’ve already discussed everything.”

At this, Kei let out a short, humorless laugh. “So it’s decided then. I never had any choice to begin with.”

Prince Bokuto was visibly hurt by the remark, but he did not correct Kei. “In the very least, I wanted to propose in person. I had hoped you would be open to the idea without bringing in politics. The last thing I want, Prince Tsukishima, is to force you into anything.”

 _Too late_ , Kei wanted to say, but instead he chose silence. His eyes were trained on the dirt by his leather boots. Prince Bokuto took his hands once more and kissed his knuckles gently.

“Regardless of our union’s circumstances, I fully intend to court you, Prince Tsukishima. I realize that this arrangement is less than ideal. But I hope, in time, you’ll open your heart to me.”

Kei wanted to be angry, to lash out and cut deep with his words. That would have been his usual reaction. But for some reason he couldn’t muster the strength. Rather than anger, he found himself overwhelmed by a profound sense of loss. Before he could stop them, tears welled in the corner of his eyes. Prince Bokuto cupped Kei’s face in his hands and frowned. 

“Please, don’t show such a pitiful face. You’re making me feel like the villain here.” He used his thumbs to wipe away the tears. “Come, now. I promise to be a worthy husband.”

Kei grabbed Prince Bokuto’s wrists and held on tightly, finally meeting his gaze. 

After a moment of studying the forlorn expression, Prince Bokuto’s eyes widened with understanding.

“Oh...I see. There’s someone else.”

Kei froze.

“...it’s that knight, isn’t it?”

The tears in Kei’s eyes stopped immediately, instead replaced by fear. His mind flew to Tetsurou, desperate to shield him from this mess.

“You’re wrong,” he said, hastily pulling away. “There’s nothing between us.”

“I’m not wrong,” Prince Bokuto insisted. He was surprisingly calm. “It was evident at breakfast, from the moment you two walked in the room. He clearly cares for you, and I can see now that you love him too.”

_You love him too._

The words echoed in Kei’s mind. All at once, the unspoken feelings materialized. Indeed, he loved him. He loved him like a bird loves air, like a fish loves water. He didn’t know who he was without Tetsurou. He didn’t _want_ to know. Part of Kei - a deeply buried, selfish part fueled only by impulse - didn’t even care about the fate of his kingdom. Part of him whispered treason. It whispered, _run away with Tetsurou and abandon this country_.

“It’s alright, you know,” Prince Bokuto said after a while. “I understand how you feel.” His voice was soft, and sympathetic. It was the first time Kei had heard him sound so sincere.

“You do?”

“Better than you might think.” Prince Bokuto took his hand and began leading them back towards the castle. As they walked, the earth crunched beneath their boots. 

“I also have someone I love,” he admitted.

Kei didn’t know what to say to that, so he kept quiet and waited for him to explain.

“For that reason, I was also against this marriage in the beginning. I gave my parent’s hell over it, arguing endlessly with them. But eventually I realized the situation was far greater than my selfish desires. As a future monarch, there are sacrifices I must be prepared to make for the good of the people.”

Prince Bokuto looked over his shoulder and smiled. It was a sad smile.

“Prince Tsukishima, are you prepared to make those sacrifices as well?”

* * *

For the past eight years of Kuroo Tetsurou’s life, the sun rose and set with Tsukishima Kei. 

His devotion was initially born from obligation. As Kei’s personal knight, he took it upon himself to learn everything about the young prince. He knew that Kei’s favorite place in the castle was the library. He knew that Kei would skip meals if not monitored carefully. He knew that, defiant as Kei was, he would always listen to Akiteru. He knew that Kei loved to study science and could talk about natural history for hours. He knew that, despite coming off cold, Kei was incredibly sensitive. He knew that whenever Kei cried, his eyes swelled like balloons.

The more he learned about the prince, the deeper Tetsurou’s feelings became. Growing so attached to a noble was foolish, he knew that. But he couldn’t help it.

Before he realized it, that initial devotion had burgeoned into an intense and irrevocable love. So, when the king and queen pulled him aside after breakfast and informed him of the situation, he felt the weight of the sun as it crashed to earth.

 _You must be so relieved, Kuroo,_ Kei’s mother had said flippantly. _You’ll no longer have to chase after that impertinent son._

Tetsurou had only nodded. If he had tried opening his mouth, he risked saying something cruel and insubordinate. Besides, he didn’t know how to explain to the queen that, actually, his entire world revolved around that impertinent son.

The queen had also assured Tetsurou that his position at the castle was secure, even in Kei’s absence. It was then that Tetsurou realized, on top of losing Kei’s heart, he would lose his company.

_Tomorrow morning. He’s leaving with Prince Bokuto tomorrow morning._

After being dismissed by the king and queen, Tetsurou aimlessly wandered the castle halls. He presumed Kei was still in the garden with that gaudy prince. Perhaps they were already celebrating the engagement. He didn’t like thinking about that.

Tetsurou found himself at a loss for what to do, staring at the floor, bumping into walls. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been apart from Kei. He supposed the proper course of action would be reporting to the battalion captain. The idea of running drills right now, however, was sickening. So, instead, he found himself standing in front of the prince’s royal bedchamber. A force of habit, he supposed.

“Oh, hello Kuroo,” Yamaguchi greeted, clearly confused. He looked around, searching for someone in particular. “Where’s his majesty?”

“Entertaining guests,” Tetsurou answered.

“And you’re not with him?”

Tetsurou just nodded half-heartedly, and Yamaguchi was quick to notice his distant regard. “Is everything alright?” He paused, looking concerned. His voice lowered to a whisper. “You didn’t have a fight, did you?”

“That’s-” Tetsurou was still dazed, unable to string words together, “...of course not. I’m just here because…” He looked at the wooden door, considering it. “I’m here for his majesty. He’s leaving tomorrow and I’ve come to pack his belongings.”

That was a lie, but Tetsurou was desperate for a reason to be in Kei’s room, alone.

“He’s _leaving_? Where is he going? And for how long?”

“That information doesn’t concern _you_ , does it?” Tetsurou snapped, pulling his rank like an asshole. He didn’t mean to lash out with so much venom, and immediately regretted the tone of his words. Yamaguchi didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

Yamaguchi shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. That was out of line.”

They both stood in awkward silence.

“It’s just...” Yamaguchi finally spoke, “if the prince is leaving for a long time, I’m going to miss him, you know?”

Tetsurou choked something down. “Yeah,” he said, voice audibly strained, “I know.”

Yamaguchi stepped aside and allowed Tetsurou to enter the room. The latter then dismissed the former. “I’ll be here for the rest of the day,” he informed, “so you can have the afternoon to yourself.”

Yamaguchi thanked him and exited swiftly, leaving Tetsurou to a dimly-lit, empty room. He leaned against the door until it closed, letting out a deep sigh. As the breath exited his body, so too went his strength. An entire hour of fighting to maintain composure had taken its toll on him; Tetsurou only managed a few wobbly steps in the room before giving up completely. His knees hit the stone floor with a _thud_. Somewhere, his mind had registered the pain. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t feel a thing. 

Was this what being in shock was like? 

The sound of the bedroom door creaking open startled Tetsurou. Reflexively, he jumped back to his feet and cleared his throat.

“What is it now, Yama-” he stopped mid-sentence, surprised to find the person standing in the doorway was not his subordinate, but rather the prince himself. Tetsurou didn’t have time to hide his surprise.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. It was then that he noticed Kei’s eyes. They were red and puffy. Swollen, like balloons.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Kei retorted.

“I…” Tetsurou couldn’t lie to him, “I wanted a moment for myself.”

He watched as Kei closed the door behind him, and locked it. He didn’t dare ask why. 

“I take it you’ve heard, then?” He asked. “About the engagement?”

There was nothing Tetsurou could do but force a smile. “I have. Let me be the first to say congratulations. It must be exciting to be taken in by such an esteemed family. You’ll be quite comfortable, I’m sure.”

The daggers in Kei’s eyes were sharp enough to kill a man. “ _That’s_ all you can say?”

Tetsurou felt the smile vanish. He cast his gaze to the window, knowing that whatever expression he bore now would reveal too much. “What else can I say, your majesty? I’m just grateful to know that you will be taken care of in my stead.”

Kei ignored him and walked to the dresser. He began taking off his waistcoat. Tetsurou watched as he fiddled with the buttons. Typically, he wouldn’t hesitate to cross the room and offer assistance. But right now, there was an ocean of distance between them.

“I figured you’d be more shocked,” Kei said without looking up from the garment.

“Well, I am shocked by the prince, he’s...” _ahem_ “...quite the character. But, you know…” Tetsurou trailed off, oddly nervous.

“ _What_ do I know?” 

He let out a sigh. “Come now, your majesty. We always knew this day would come.”

Kei clicked his tongue. “And you’re happy to finally have me out of your hair, is that it?”

The remark cut deep. Now, Tetsurou was mad. “I never said that, your majesty.”

“I told you not to call me that!” Kei snapped, giving up on the waistcoat entirely. If Tetsurou was mad, then Kei was furious. “You may think I’m oblivious, but I’m not. I know everything about you, okay? I know you’re up before dawn every morning to prepare my schedule. I know you review the menu each night to make sure it’s suited to my tastes. I know you must orchestrate every detail of your life around me. Of course you’re relieved that I’m leaving. I mean, really, who wouldn’t want to escape that kind of hell?”

The ocean between them was crossed in a manner of seconds. Tetsurou grabbed Kei’s wrists and pinned him against the wardrobe, causing the fragile doors to tremble under their weight. His facade had been shot, pain bleeding into his expression, voice fractured. “ _Stop running your mouth_.”

Kei was not deterred by the roughness, but rather spurred on by it. His fists curled under Tetsurou’s tight grasp. " _Why?_ It’s true. I’m just an obligation. You’ve never actually cared about me.”

In a single, heated instant, the rage boiled over. “Shut up! You spoiled brat. _I'd follow you to death if I could_.”

As soon as the words left his lips, the two were equally stunned silent. They stared at each other, both searching for traces of doubt.

It was Kei who first rediscovered his voice. He spoke in a low tone, golden eyes piercing right through Tetsurou. “If that’s the case, then why aren’t you fighting this more?”

As if snapped from a trance, Tetsurou pulled back. He released Kei’s wrists, stepping away with unsteady legs and stumbling against the bed. He sat down on the mattress and buried his head in his hands.

Kei stood over him, the fury having all but vanished from his demeanor. “I _know_ you, Kuroo. You’re as hurt as I am, so stop acting like everything’s fine.”

There was a long stretch of silence. Kei watched for what felt like an eternity as Tetsurou’s chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. Then, all at once, his breathing shuddered and shoulders quivered. Kei knelt to the floor and peeled back Tetsurou’s hands to reveal, in the soft light of the nearby window, tears in his eyes. It was the first time the prince had ever seen his knight cry. 

“Kei, there’s nothing to be done,” he admitted, weak and defeated. “You know the situation as well as I do. Even if there was room to protest, I have no right. We’re talking about the fate of thousands, and compared to that, I’m nothing, Kei. I’m _less_ than nothing.”

Kei thought his heart had already broken completely this morning. But now he realized that there was still something left to shatter. Without giving it a second thought, Kei knelt on the bed and straddled Tetsurou’s lap. He took those calloused hands in his own delicate grip and began pressing his lips to the knuckles - an earnest attempt to take away the pain. It was the same gesture that Prince Bokuto had performed earlier. Only this time, the feelings behind it were unfeigned.

“That’s not true,” he whispered. “ _That’s not true_ .” He repeated the words over and over again until his knight understood. “You’re _everything_ to me.” Kei’s lips were fervent, moving from Tetsurou’s knuckles to the tip of his nails, to the pads of his fingers. Finally, Kei pressed his cheek to the open palm of Tetsurou’s hand, savoring the rough feel against his skin.

Tetsurou could do nothing but watch as Kei desperately professed his love. At any other moment, this would have been a dream come true. But the circumstances now were too painful to reckon; the mere sight had him in pieces all over again.

“I need you to understand, Kuroo,” Kei began, “Earlier, in the garden, my thoughts were consumed by you. I kept thinking, _what would he do if he were here now?_ Would he be jealous? Relieved? Heartbroken?” Kei touched Tetsurou’s cheek. “Would he cry on my behalf?”

Tetsurou suddenly remembered the red eyes, swollen from tears. 

Kei continued. “When you pretended to be unaffected, I was hurt. I know your feelings better than anyone, Kuroo. I’m subject to them every day: your diligence, your ardent expressions, your gentle touch. But our time together is running out and I don’t want to leave tomorrow wondering if any of this was real.”

“ _Of course_ _, it’s real,_ ” Tetsurou whispered, stroking Kei’s cheek with a shaking hand.

For the first time that day, Kei smiled. Such a fond expression rarely graced his features, reserved only for his knight. “I need to hear it from your lips directly.”

Tetsurou opened his mouth, but words escaped him. A storm of contradictions raged inside, preventing coherent thoughts from manifesting. Half of him was euphoric. After all this time spent keeping his distance and minding his emotions, Kei had felt the same way. More than that, he had recognized Tetsurou’s feelings. _He had seen him._

But the realization had come too late. Tetsurou couldn’t forget the events that led them to this very moment, no matter how hard he tried. Even now, as the two held on to each other, Kei was not his. Not entirely. 

“You’re engaged,” was all he could manage.

Kei nodded. He then pressed Tetsurou’s shoulders down until his back met the plush comforter. His hips were still pinned by Kei’s thighs. He could have easily pushed him off if we wanted, but he didn’t. 

Kei closed the distance between them, pressing his chest flush against Tetsurou, elbows propping himself up against the covers. “I leave early tomorrow,” he whispered in his ear, breath hitting Tetsurou’s cheek and sending shivers down his spine. “I'm not attending dinner, and I requested to be left alone tonight.”

Tetsurou felt Kei’s lips begin trailing kisses along his lower jaw and neck, eliciting from him a guttural moan. As if on autopilot, his hands gripped the back of Kei’s shirt, tugging at the fabric, pulling him closer.

“You get what I’m saying? No one’s coming to retrieve me until morning.”

Tetsurou swallowed hard. Somewhere in his right mind, he was hurt by the implications. It was selfish, in a way, to have Kei give himself up for one night before leaving forever, allowing Tetsurou just a taste of happiness before ripping it from his grasp. He didn’t know which would be more painful: to indulge now and make the goodbye all the more excruciating, or maintain their boundaries and pretend like nothing had happened. He’d be suffering in both scenarios.

“There’s no going back after this,” Tetsurou warned, voice rasping with want. “Not for me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Kei said softly. “Me neither.”

It was true, Tetsurou would suffer either way. But the decision between having Kei now or giving him up forever was clear. He would choose Kei every time.

In one swift move, Tetsurou flipped their positions on the bed and crushed their lips together. The kiss was cathartic, a build up of all their unspoken feelings channeled into desperate, breathless motion. Kei wrapped his arms around the other’s neck and held him tightly, like he still might try to escape. Meanwhile, Tetsurou’s hands were everywhere at once, at Kei’s sides, down his back, feeling everything like he was making up for lost time. His senses were filled with the prince. How many times had he admired these exact lips? Staring at them as Kei talked, daring to wonder what they felt like, what they tasted like. 

Tetsurou broke away only to get on his knees and start working on Kei’s clothes. It was almost comical how easily he stripped off the waistcoat, considering the trouble it had given Kei minutes before. While Tetsurou busied himself with the shirt buttons, Kei gripped his face and pulled him back into the kiss. He missed his mark at first, hitting Tetsurou’s chin and then the corner of his lips, kissing blindly until they finally met in the middle.

It went without saying that this was Kei’s first time embracing someone, never mind sleeping with them. He was monitored 24/7 by castle guards and it was nearly impossible to slip away from their watchful gazes - not that he had ever tried. From the very beginning, Kei had his sights set on one person and one person only. That meant his attempts at seduction now were rather clumsy and inexperienced.

Of course, Tetsurou couldn’t have cared less. Clumsy as it was, the kiss had successfully distracted him, fingers abandoning Kei’s shirt in favor of lacing through his hair. He moved in a rhythm that Kei matched, their grinding bodies synching unconsciously. In a particularly heated moment, Tetsurou bit the soft flesh of Kei’s bottom lip and tugged down. It must’ve hurt quite a bit because Kei squeaked out a small cry. Tetsurou ran his tongue over the sensitive area to console the pain.

“God, I’ve wanted you so bad,” Tetsurou murmured against Kei’s open mouth. In affirmation, he felt Kei’s long legs wrap around his waist, pressing the proof of his feelings against Tetsurou’s thigh.

“I’m yours,” he said between breaths, “I’ve only ever been _yours_.”

And God, that felt good to hear.

Compared to Kei, Tetsurou had more experience in bed. However, his past encounters were always one-night affairs and never carried any meaning. They were fun distractions at best; a way to kill time and satisfy desires. In sharp contrast, having Kei under him now made him feel drunk with ecstasy. 

Tetsurou pulled away from the kiss for the second time, much to Kei’s displeasure. He looked up with brows furrowed and face flushed red. Tetsurou gripped his chin between his thumb and pointer finger. “Stick out your tongue for me,” he instructed. 

Without missing a beat, the prince did as he was told. Another shiver shot right down Tetsurou’s spine. Certainly, he was drunk on _something_. He wagered that he would have become addicted to this if Kei were not leaving tomorrow.

“ _Good boy_ ,” he praised before recapturing Kei’s lips with his own, sucking on his tongue and exploring the inside of his mouth. All the while, his hands returned to the shirt buttons, undoing them frantically and pulling the fabric aside. Without bothering to take the garment off, Tetsurou’s hands began gliding over Kei’s exposed chest, touching and feeling and groping everything he could get his hands on. Against his lips, Kei was practically humming with pleasure.

Tetsurou licked and kissed his way down Kei’s chin and neck, finally stopping at his collarbone. The skin was taut and pale, like the rest of his slender body: perfectly flawless, as a royal ought to be. For some reason, though, that just made Tetsurou want to mar it himself; to leave something permanent so Kei could never forget him.

“Fuck,” Kei breathed out as he felt Tetsurou’s teeth sink in. His hands migrated from Tetsurou’s shoulders to his hair, sliding in the unruly mess and scraping his nails across the scalp. “ _Fuck, it hurts,_ ” he repeated with a whimper.

Tetsurou stopped, but not because he was satisfied. In reality, he wouldn’t be satisfied until Kei’s body was covered in marks. But he didn’t want to risk overwhelming the prince.

“Sorry, I’ll be more gentle-”

“No,” Kei interrupted. He was panting, messy but trying to keep it together. “It’s okay. I don’t want you to hold back. Give me everything.”

At this, a loving yet patronizing smile broke on Tetsurou’s lips. “You don’t have to act so brave.”

Kei’s face soured, offended by the mere accusation. “You think this is an act?” He pressed his thigh between Tetsurou’s legs and created hot friction at his crotch, eliciting a deep groan. “I told you, Kuroo, I know you. You couldn’t scare me off if you tried.”

Tetsurou felt his mouth go dry. Suddenly, the flood gates were open, and every dirty, unforgivable thought he’d ever had about the prince came rushing to the forefront of his mind. Kei said he wouldn’t be perturbed by anything, but Tetsurou's mind was dark. He didn’t know if he truly believed him.

“Is that so?” he said, genuinely considering the promise. “Then…”

Tetsurou knelt upright and positioned himself on top of Kei’s chest. The latter watched, heart racing, as Tetsurou began unbuckling his belt. He pulled out his throbbing erection, stroking himself twice, staring down at Kei’s pretty face. With a thumb to his mouth, Tetsurou pushed past his lips and opened his jaw. “...show me how well you know me.”

Kei may not have been experienced, but he wasn’t one to back down from a challenge, especially not after speaking so brazenly. He propped himself up by the elbows and leaned forward, sticking out his tongue before licking the head of Tetsurou’s cock. It was hot and salty from sweat, but he didn’t hate the taste. He also didn’t hate the reaction it elicited from his knight. Kei’s eyes were locked on Tetsurou as he took him deeper, savoring his blissful features: brows arched, mouth open, breathing erratic.

“Mmm, that’s good, baby. Just like that,” he moaned.

 _Baby?_ That was new. Kei wondered if Tetsurou was conscious of the words falling out of his mouth. Either way, Kei didn’t mind. ‘Baby’ was still better than your majesty. Part of him found the pet name endearing, as if Tetsurou really was his lover.

Spurred on by the positive reaction and desperate to please, Kei performed by instinct, listening and responding when he got it right. He dragged his tongue along the underside of Tetsurou’s cock and relished the sound it evoked. He kissed the tip before swirling circles around the head, then took it to the back of his throat. With each new movement, Tetsurou came closer to unraveling, losing control of his hips as they rocked forward. He tried his best to maintain a slow pace, hand gripping Kei’s hair tightly, guiding him, but the languid movements were agonizing. It required nearly all his will-power to keep himself from fucking Kei’s throat raw. 

Eventually, Tetsurou couldn’t take it anymore. He jerked Kei’s face away, both of them panting. 

“That’s enough,” he said hoarsely.

Kei wiped the saliva from his mouth with his sleeve, eyes filled with lust, waiting for Tetsurou to make the next move. The latter obliged by tugging at Kei’s pants, which were suddenly in the way. Kei assisted by lifting his body and kicking them off. With obstructions gone, Tetsurou paused and took in the sight before him. 

Kei was hard, painfully so. His pink cock was leaking pre-cum, twitching and wanting for release. Tetsurou put a hand to his mouth and wiped away sweat. He had imagined this moment so many times before, and now it was finally real. He wanted to cherish the memory, but the unshakeable threat of tomorrow loomed over his head.

“Oi,” Kei snapped, face burning red with embarrassment. Tetsurou had been staring at him for far too long. “Stop thinking about unnecessary things and strip.” 

Tetsurou blinked, and looked down in surprise. Somehow, throughout their frenzy, he’d managed to remain fully-clothed. 

A grin broke upon his lips. “Sorry about that.”

Kei sat upright to help him disrobe. As they pulled off his shirt together and tossed it aside, Tetsurou noticed that Kei’s lips were also curled to a smile. There was nothing in the world he loved more than that smile. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Tetsurou remarked, barely considering the compliment before he uttered it. The mindless nature of his comment just made Kei’s smile grow. He pulled down Tetsurou’s trousers and kissed his abdomen. 

Against the skin, he murmured, “ _I love you, Tetsurou._ ”

There it was. His first name: the last stronghold of formality keeping them apart all these years...shattered in an instant. 

Tetsurou wanted to return the sentiment. He opened his mouth, only to realize that he had never actually said those three words outright. Kei had made it so easy on him, spouting lines like _I know you_ and _I know your feelings_. But that just let him evade the fear of actually speaking his emotions into existence and making them real. 

He tilted Kei’s face upwards so that their eyes met. “I love you too,” he said finally, and once started, he couldn’t stop. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love another person as much as I love you. And that terrifies me, because we’ll never be together the way that I want. I-” he had to stop, becoming suddenly choked up and needing to compose himself, “I hate the idea of giving you up, Kei. Because in my head, you’ve always been _mine_. And I know that’s my own fault, foolishly hoping for a future I could never have, but I-”

Kei kissed him quiet. 

“I’m the same,” he promised after pulling away. “I might marry that guy for show but it won’t be real. Not for me. I can’t love anyone other than you.”

And with that, the last thread holding Tetsurou’s self-control together finally snapped. Kei was on his back in an instant, wrists pinned, legs spread open by Tetsurou’s thighs. He was breathing deeply, hips gyrating like an animal in heat, desperate to be inside Kei and make him a mess.

But first, he stuck his fingers in Kei’s mouth. The latter immediately started bathing them in saliva, employing the same technique he learned earlier. It was almost scary how quickly he picked this stuff up. A glistening line of spit extended from Kei’s lips when Tetsurou took his fingers out, breaking in the middle and falling on his chin. 

“You need you to relax. It might hurt at first but I promise I’ll make you feel so good,” Tetsurou leaned over to kiss Kei’s temple. As he did, his slick fingers began stroking his ass, rubbing the entrance in small circles. Kei let out a small gasp in surprise.

“ _Shh,_ baby, relax,” Tetsurou hushed, pressing the first finger in. Kei winced at the uncomfortable, invasive feeling, clinging to his shoulders. 

Tetsurou clicked his tongue in frustration; it was incredibly tight. He planted kisses on Kei’s forehead and whispered, “This is going to take a while, so be patient with me.”

No matter how desperate he was to be inside the prince, Tetsurou had no intention of half-assing things and inadvertently scarring Kei during his first time. He would be diligent with preparation, even if that meant drawing out the process to a painstaking degree. He wanted this experience to be as good for Kei as it was for him.

After a while of stretching, he managed to slip in two fingers, scissoring and curling them inside. To detract from the discomfort, Tetsurou’s other hand was at Kei's cock, pumping him through the pain. All the while, Kei’s whimpers became more intense, teetering back and forth between cries of pain and moans of pleasure. Each noise went straight to Tetsurou’s crotch. 

When the third finger was inserted, Kei grabbed Tetsurou’s wrist and stopped his motion. 

“S’nough, okay?” He was slurring his words, voice breaking, clearly feeling _something._

Tetsurou didn’t bother arguing and pulled out his fingers, leaving Kei feeling strangely empty. He then spit into his hand and stroked his cock until it was slick enough to fit. Angling himself between Kei’s thighs, Tetsurou finally pushed himself inside.

Just the tip had Kei writhing in pain.

“ _Tetsurou,_ ” he called out. His hands gripped the bed covers.

And Tetsurou was right there, helping him through it. “I’ve got you. You’re doing so good,” he praised. He kept his motion easy, moving steadily deeper. Each inch gained went straight to his head, sending waves of pleasure throughout his veins.

As he bottomed out, Tetsurou let out a deep, satisfied groan, reveling in the delicious heat and pressure enveloping him. He put a hand on Kei’s cheek and discovered him in a pitiful state. He was biting his bottom lip to keep from crying out, eyes blinking back tears. 

“How does it feel?”

“ _Awful_ ,” he snarled, as if Tetsurou were stupid to ask. “But I’ll be fine. Just give me a second.”

Well, so much for diligent preparation.

Tetsurou leaned forward and captured his lips in a long and deep kiss. It was his best effort at distracting from the pain. Kei responded by wrapping his arms around Tetsurou’s back and dragging his nails along the skin.

“If it’s any consolation,” Tetsurou said, after breaking away, “I feel incredible right now.”

In truth, that did make Kei feel a little better. But he was in too much physical agony to actually admit it. “It’s already been a second,” he said instead. “You can move.”

Tetsurou smirked, pecking Kei once more on the lips before getting back to his knees. He placed both hands on either side of Kei’s hips. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

Kei nodded, closing his eyes, preparing himself. Tetsurou carefully pulled out to the tip of his cock, before rocking right back in. Kei whimpered in response, but didn’t tell him to stop, so Tetsurou repeated the movement a second time, then a third, over and over until it became a rhythm. Every thrust sent something hot and burning through Kei’s body. His voice grew louder as the rhythm intensified, head and neck writhing against the sheets. He looked more in pain than anything else. Even still, he never asked to stop.

Tetsurou bit his bottom lip, trying not to lose himself in the euphoria. “So good,” he breathed, fingers digging deeper at Kei’s hips. “Fuck, you’re so good.”

The pace was getting faster and more desperate. Kei found that, the more deeply he was fucked, the less it hurt, and the harder it was to control his reactions. Eventually, he had to bite his hand to keep from screaming. Tetsurou noticed this and slapped it away. He then grabbed both Kei’s wrists and used them to drive himself further.

“Don’t hold back your voice,” he ordered. “I want to hear everything.”

To punctuate the command, he changed his pace to frustratingly slow and deliberate. Kei just barely managed to muffle himself. He kept the sound lodged in his throat each time Tetsurou sunk in, unwilling to let go completely. Part of him was terrified of being caught, knowing very well the punishment Tetsurou would suffer if the two were discovered like this. 

"Louder," Tetsurou demanded, losing patience.

“I can't,” Kei whimpered through his gasps, “they’ll _kill_ you.”

Tetsurou’s hips halted movement. All of a sudden, laughter bubbled up from deep within his chest. It was a loud, delirious sound that bounced off the walls and filled the room. Kei’s brows furrowed with indignant confusion, wondering what the hell was so funny.

“That’s not a joke, you idiot.”

Tetsurou kept chuckling. “I know.”

"Then why are you laughing?" Kei was getting annoyed.

"Because I realized I don't care."

Tetsurou then pulled out and flipped Kei to his side, lifting up his right leg in the air.

“What are you-” Kei was cut off by a compulsive moan, suddenly filled to the brim. Tetsurou had plunged deep inside him, all the gentleness and hesitation gone from his movements. It was like a flip had switched inside. His demeanor was a bit malicious now. An unfriendly grin played at his lips.

“The way I see it, I might as well die after tonight,” he grunted, hugging Kei’s thigh and nipping the tender flesh of his calf, “I won’t ever feel better than I do right now, fucking you raw.” His thrusts were getting rougher and sloppier with each word.

“Stop! Ah-” Kei cried. This time, he wasn’t able to muffle the screams. “Tetsurou, _Tetsurou!_ ”

“That’s right, baby, say it louder. Say my name louder.” He bit hard into Kei’s leg, that primal urge to imprint himself returning.

Kei's fear of other people finding out was to be expected. He intended to keep this whole affair a secret and shield his knight from repercussions. Tetsurou, on the other hand, was positively exhilarated by the idea of being walked in on, punishment be damned. All he could think about was that satisfaction he’d feel when that gaudy prince discovered the marks adorning Kei’s body: fresh red bites, surrounded by blooms of black and purple bruising, all clear signs of possession. Anyone who saw them would immediately understand: Kei belonged to _him_.

“Don’t forget who fucked you like this,” he rasped in a low voice, feeling himself getting close. “Five years down the line. Ten years. After you’re married, and have a family, and think you might actually love that stupid son of a-” he stopped himself, eating the insult. “Just - don’t forget this.”

Kei was starting to lose vision in his eyes, black spots forming at the periphery. In this position, Tetsurou was hitting someplace new, someplace warm, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout his system. The sharp pain at his leg had been masked almost entirely by heat and bliss.

 _Don’t forget,_ he says.

Now, it was Kei who wanted to laugh. Because really, how _could_ he forget? Never in his life had Kei ever felt-

“ _...so good_ ,” he whined. He was on his side, face half-buried in the bed covers, drool spilling from his open mouth and pooling on the fabric. His hand was at his cock, pumping himself. “Harder,” he begged, losing all shame and apprehension, desperately chasing after that high, “Tetsurou, please, _fuck me harder._ ”

And that little plea was enough to bring him over the edge. With one final thrust, Tetsurou came inside Kei, spilling his hot load with a guttural grunt. Kei moaned in unison, body trembling, frantically stroking himself. Tetsurou pulled his hand away and took over, working him until he too reached climax. Cum shot over his stomach and on the bed, his cock twitching through release. As he rode the orgasm out, Kei could do nothing but repeatedly call out for his knight. Tetsurou, ever diligent, responded duly, kissing him and whispering sweet words of reverence as he rode through it.

“ _I love you, I love you, I love you…_ ”

* * *

In reality, Kei and Tetsurou's first time together was not their last. The bedchamber door was locked and no one ever came looking for them. They’d been graced with a fleeting opportunity, and made sure not to waste a single second.

The pair spent the rest of the day in each other's arms, unable to get their fill. When night descended, they didn’t sleep, scared of bringing the love affair to an early end. Even between rounds, they couldn’t be separated. Kei would drape over Tetsurou like a blanket, legs intertwined, fingers gliding over skin. They would kiss for so long that they shared breath.

Occasionally, when they were particularly spent and in need of a break, the lovers would talk. Kei decided to ask Tetsurou when he first realized his feelings. (For the record, he was sixteen and Kei was fourteen. They’d both been caught in a summer rainstorm and Kei’s white shirt had been soaked entirely through, transparent against his skin. That single image went on to occupy Tetsurou’s dreams for the next three years). 

Tetsurou then asked Kei the same question, only to be annoyed by his answer.

“Hah? What do you mean _today_?”

Kei chuckled at his reaction. His head rested on Tetsurou’s chest, hand tracing lines over his ribcage, ear pressed to his heart. He elaborated, “Well, part of me always knew you were special. But I didn’t truly understand my feelings until Prince Bokuto told me that I loved someone else.”

Tetsurou scowled. He was indebted to, of all people, _that_ guy?

“He’s not that bad, you know,” Kei said, reading his thoughts perfectly. “I mean, he’s a lot, that’s for sure. But he’s also quite kind. When I was distraught over the engagement, he was very sympathetic and comforted me.”

Tetsurou pinched his nose. “Oi. Don’t go falling in love with him now.”

Kei rolled his eyes, swatting the hand away. “I told you, I _can’t_ love anyone else.” He paused, recalling earlier that day. “Besides, Prince Bokuto told me he loves someone else, too.”

Tetsurou raised his eyebrows, genuinely surprised. “He said that outright, huh?” He paused in consideration. “Worried that he’ll be unfaithful?”

Kei snorted. “Even if he is, I don’t have much room to lecture, do I?”

“Hmm, guess not.”

There was a beat of silence. Kei’s eyes were closed, enjoying the rhythm of Tetsurou’s heart.

“Hey, Kei?”

“Mmm?”

Tetsurou hesitated. “I...I said some pretty selfish things to you in the heat of the moment, about how I didn’t want you to forget about me and…”

“And?”

“And I’m saying it’s okay if you do. Forget about me, that is.”

Kei didn’t say anything in response, so Tetsurou kept talking. “I want the best for you, Kei, always. If you do end up falling in love with someone else later on in life, whether it's that prince or not, I’m telling you, it’s okay. You have my permission to forget about whatever this was. I won’t blame you.”

Kei raised his head to look at Tetsurou. He wasn’t upset - he didn’t have the energy to be. He just stood his ground.

“And I’m telling you I won’t forget, no matter how much time passes. I'll always love you.”

There was no lie in Kei’s eyes, and so the issue was put to rest as quickly as it had been dug up. More silence descended upon the room. Lovely, comfortable silence. Until Kei broke it again.

“Can I be selfish now and ask something from you?”

“Sure,” Tetsurou granted. His hand rested against Kei’s head, mindlessly stroking his hair.

“I want you to keep working here, in the castle.”

Tetsurou sensed there was more to that request, so he let Kei continue before responding.

“I won’t be able to bring you with me when I leave tomorrow. At the same time, I hate the idea of you going some place else. I want you to stay here and wait for me to return, on summer trips and extended holidays and special occasions. Then we can be together again, like nothing has changed. I know it’s unfair, asking you to wait around for me, but-”

Tetsurou kissed the crown of Kei’s head. “I had no intention of leaving, Kei. This is my home too.”


End file.
